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Pamela One the Only One

Such a small world. Callalily forwarded a mail today from her friend working in a cigarette company who's been consistently e-mailing her everyday. I didn't notice until today that one of the recipients was a chillingly familiar name.

Six degrees of separation down to two.

She was one of those that made it to my Could-Have-Been list. I caught her with a smile during our morning stretch exercise back then, to the tune of Rick Astley's "Together Forever".

How appropriate. Just how I always feel when I see a could-have-been on Friendster or on the street, at a fishball stand in UP or in Mang Jimmy's. Music just seems to fill my head--Dionne Warwick's "Going Out of My Head" or Mark Sherman's "Changes in My Life." Yup, even the soundtrack from Beauty and the Beast.

A pair of red hearts would throb on my eyes plus a bigger one on my chest complete with a thump thump sound effect as she puts on a toothpaste-perfect smile with a bling bling flash to complement my thump thump. I would run slow motion to her and we would get rolling on a lawn, or on the beach. It is always picture, no, movie-perfect. As perfect as Sharon Cuneta and Gabby Concepcion's. Or Kris Aquino and Rene Requiestas'. As in the 80's.

Awr, it's becoming cheesy. We sang at the karaoke (called minus ones--no videokes yet). We went out on an excuse. We had it mutual, to the point that I was already introduced to her parents. It was a forbidden relationship though, and I had to give in. I know I really liked her and I know she liked me too. Even if we were already far from each other.

And now she's married. Could have been my surname on the dash after her last name. Could have been the mother of my children. Could have had a different soundtrack aside from Depeche Mode's "A Question of Lust." Could have been worse. Could have been better.

I'll never know. It won't be and never will, not in this lifetime.

“Pamela One the Only One”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    welcome back to the blogging world. :)
    -cnb

  2. Blogger the uptown gurl Says:

    i love this post. there's something in this post thats sadly heartbreaking and beautiful... both in the same time.

    what does six degree of separation means?