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I gotta new way to walk (walk walk)

...and it makes my spirit shine.

Since my manager said to take my time, I grabbed it by the neck, slapped it on the chopping board, pounded on it with a tenderizer, folded and rolled it over with a rolling pin. I've since plunked it into the oven pre-heated at 360 degrees, turning it from time to time and am waiting for juices to run clear by pricking it with a fork once in a while.

After two weeks of work in a new environment and a two-day orientation, my body is still sufferring from withdrawal symptoms: I need work! I want work! Come on, give me product introductions, let me make management summaries, get me on a transpacific bridge meeting. Let me finish a white paper in just 30 minutes which normally takes two weeks and ten team meetings to prepare. Let me read e-mails for breakfast, and follow up on night shift technicians for dinner. Let me dream about their performance appraisals and mumble who will get promoted and who will not get an increase this year.

Two weeks and the only serious job I have right now is a project plan that I pushed out when I had a sore right eye for five days, and all my supervisor said was to take my time even if that project has been pushed out by a quarter! Lord, please don't take my boss away. Not yet, not when I am still honeymooning.

You might say that I am in euphoria over my new work, ergo, my new lifestyle. You should have seen my first payslip. Not exactly dollar signs on my eyeballs but you must have heard the bling bling when I opened it. Oh am I so happy I decided not to take any cent from it. I want it preserved. I want to ogle my bank account with oohs and aahs.

Anyway.

I win some, I lose some. The cubicle partitions are shoulder-high--when seated, and the telephone ratio is four persons. Instant messaging is not allowed, and internet access is restricted. My boss is seated in front of me (fortunately he cannot see what I have been doing the whole day surfing and bloglurking) so I cannot make the telebabad to former officemates--typical of recent resignees. So for posterity's sake and for taking advantage of the free time, here is a list of what I have learned from a five-year engineering career (what career?), hopping from one job to another.

1. High tech, high expectations. You get a laptop equipped with the latest wireless technology. Ergo, you can connect to your office network anywhere there is a hot spot or a phone line, and if you are provided with a mobile phone, much better since you can access and be accessed anywhere. You don't have to worry about battery life since this is part of the package. Think of those ads of a laptop/mobile phone-toting executive relaxing under a beach umbrella or on a fishing boat. Wake up, Frere Jacques! You call accessing e-mails of a production linesdown while sipping a daiquiri relaxing?

2. Less people on the team, less BS. The proverbial broth spoils when there are too many cooks. The more attractive the perks of making the project, the more cooks want to get on your team. Little do they know that in the end, they look like flies swarming for cowdung.

3. Less procedures, less BS. Related to #2. Long staging time will also spoil the soup. You've heard of red tape in government. Now it's ISO 9001 and its horde of documentation eklat flooding the privates (pun unintended). Think of secretaries and managers who have been sitting all day come up with a brilliant idea of writing all the procedures on paper, served with a threat on the side: "Lagot ka pag na-audit yan." All for the sake of impressing a systemized structure.

4. The boss does not need to know anything. But you can at least make an impression. These days, thanks to the information avalanche brought about by e-mails, managers can only read, at best, the subject of your report. Or the beginning and ending paragraphs. Some do not read them at all but store them in a temporary inbox which will never be opened. Management By Walking Around (MBWA) is already passe since your boss may look low-tech, and even impress on higher management and his subordinates that he has nothing to do but PO (patay-oras or killing time). The "in" things are Management By Perception (MBP) and its hideous sister, Management By Humiliation (MBH) for the BFH (boss from hell).

5. Network, network, network. It's not just what you know, but who (or is it whom?) you know. Most of the time, it's the who part which lubricates the rusty wheels of working. You will never know when the guy from logistics that you cursed during a badminton tournament will be useful to you even if you are from the training department. Be sweet to the old lady updating your travel reports and she will be useful for urgent requests. These days, boleros can make it to the top. Some are lucky to have friends along the way.

6. Be paranoid. Andy Grove couldn't have said it better. Eyes on your back, especially if you are surfing. Be wary of the production operator that you missed out on meetings for one whole week. Bold people can be found in the rank and file and they will not hesitate to speak out their minds. She might squeal to your manager about the miracles you've been doing as the OIC.

7. There is life after a bad performance appraisal. You can even get promoted afterwards. Not all promotions are good--those promoted in bad times get half a salary raise, or even none at all. It's in the timing. Promotion will bring you more responsibilities but not necessarily more pay.

8. There is life after resignation. Sure there are withdrawal symptoms, but eventually you'll cope. Friends will always be there but don't expect them at the office to be on call.

9. There is life after work. And it starts at break time.

10. We are here for the money. Magpakatotoo po tayo.

“I gotta new way to walk (walk walk)”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    i need to get out of here coz i'm turning into a war-mongering bitch, :S
    -cnb

  2. Anonymous calla lily Says:

    i looked through your archives and found this. now that i'm about to get out, totally agree with #2,#5 and #10.